Five Times
by the.clairvoyance
Summary: Four times they've said I love you and one time they didn't have to. Smacked!


**Five Times**

**Disclaimer:** Why are you even looking at this when you could be doing what you came here for, reading some fan fiction about characters and a show I don't own the rights to?

**Pairing:** Mac/Stella, SMacked.

**Genre:** Humour/Romance/Friendship.

**Rating:** T. For language, minor content, and of course the tension between Mac and Stella ;).

**Summary:** Four times they've said they've loved one another and one time they didn't have to. Season 5 and later.

**Dedication:** For the lovely miss Nat (aka CSI_NYfangirl), I hope this helps make up the fact that I've been a bad Fanpopper and not on the forums at all. Love Aly :D.

**Author's Note:** I came up with another concept before this one but I figure a filler one-shot between updating chapters for "_My True Love Gave To Me"_ couldn't hurt any, although I should be working harder on updating "_Waiting on an Angel_", oh well it is on the docket :P. In the meantime I wrote this shoddy little one-shot to help inspire some more Smack lovin' in my work ;). Have fun :D.

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* * *

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"I love you."

It is a sunny afternoon, like really painfully gorgeous outside, the kind of day where you want nothing more then to walk down the sidewalks and wave hello to strangers and friends alike, fuelled by your own elation. You figure it is the weather and the upbeat attitude of almost everyone in the lab today that has brought on her mood which apparently is the mood of professing feelings of adoration to people you have not only been partners with but the best friend of over a decade.

Despite this you do not care because all you can see is the sun reflecting in her eyes and the joy of the simple spring day in her smile.

Maybe you'll say it back too.

"Mm, don't let Sinclair hear you say that, Stell."

Or not.

"Very funny Mac," she replies with a little bit of an eye roll that she tries to downplay but fails miserably at.

"I'm just pleased that you managed to wrap up the Masterton case while I helped Flack out in interrogation—by the way, we booked the guy—and now we can _finally_ take that long over due and very much deserved break we were planning."

A break actually sounds really appealing now and even though it goes against all of your convictions you might just let her talk you into it. Lunch or a walk in Central Park or maybe, a big maybe really, you two will skip off work early today although knowing your work ethic that isn't likely to happen and while you mull over this Stella places herself on the desk next to you and you're impressed with the view. She sits at an angle that is facing you and you're sure that if you turn you'll knock into her knees. You consider the pros and cons of spinning the chair in her direction and doing just that, if only so you can grasp her hips under the guise of keeping her steady but that would be inappropriate, not to mention you'd actually have to initiate human contact in order for that to happen.

"So you love me because I do my job?" You query without thinking too much of it, instead you busy yourself with putting filled out forms into their rightful slots in your office filing cabinet and trying your best not to gawk at the exposed lower back of your partner from where her shirt had hiked up.

Playful, Stella smirks and places a hand on your arm as you walk back around your desk to the side facing her; the hand runs all the way down to your wrist and toys with your own palm, making little patterns all over it.

"_No_," she begins, her fingertips teasing you and her eyes twinkling. "Because you're going to let me talk you into taking that little break we were talking about beforehand."

Stupidly it still amazes you that she can read your mind.

You take her hand and squeeze it gently but your looking at her radiant smile the entire time.

"I thought that was why I loved you?"

The Greek Goddess grins at your reply, releases your hand, and picks herself up from your desk. Your feet follow her out of your office without her ever having turn back to face you, hands brushing but not yet touching. Now all you have to learn is how to say it in just the right context.

* * *

"I love you."

Actually Mac's sentence had gone more along the lines of; "I love you for this Stella," but you_ have _be known to have selective hearing from time to time.

Of course the "this" your partner had been talking about was you not only tying together all the loose strings on some in progress cases of yours _and_ his as well as babysitting the lab while he was at some lame conference he hated and claimed was designed solely to rub elbows and boast about statics and media exposure. However the free bar and three days away from criminals, DNA tests, and autopsy reports sure seemed to brighten the CSI's otherwise worn out attitude. Oh, and you bought him coffee from the little coffee shop that you both love so much.

"Hmm, you should go out of town more often." You offer, crossing your legs beneath you so that you're sitting on your ankles on the couch in his office. He quirks his eyebrows but does not say anything in response because he is just so frustrating like that. A moment later he has joined you on the piece of surprisingly comfortable furniture and you are bombarded with the scent of caffeine, shaving cream, and Mac Taylor. It is a fragrance that you have come to love.

"And why is that, so you can run the lab right into the ground?" Mac questions and you pretend to look surprised.

"What are you implying Mac; am I a little too tough for the ex-marine and his team?"

Of course you are teasing but a part of you figures he actually believes what you have just said but again he always tells you that you're the strongest woman he knows and it is a virtue he finds amazing in you. In your mind you curse him, why does he have to make every little thing sound like a compliment? Why did he have to be so damn charming and disarming all of the time? Well at least to you he is. Stupid, perfect, Mac always acting like a gentlemen. When would he ever learn that it only made you love him more?

"Well there are rumors," he begins with a low tone and it seems he has taken to mocking you now. "But I guess I'm just astonished by how you got done in my absence. I'm very impressed and I'm sure everyone, including yourself, is exhausted."

Most likely but then today_ is _Thursday and that means that tomorrow is Friday and then everyone will be grateful for the weekend break, the first one for what seems like years after how much they worked in the past week. You feel a little guilty because you are one of the main reasons for all that exerted effort, not that the end result wasn't fantastic. All those bad guys behind bars and those victims getting their slice of justice and, of course, the gratitude you receive when your partner is sitting next to you with only and inch or two between you. It is difficult not to think of all the positives to the lab's hard work when the outcome is so abundant.

"Not exhausted enough to let you off the hook for dinner." You inform him lazily but with a smile plastered across your face.

Mac smiles in good-nature and you both climb off the couch, heading towards the glass door he holds open for you."You're lucky that you're so good at your job _and_ mine. I don't think I'd let anyone else talk me into buying them dinner twice a week."

"Hey, I offer to go dutch." You point out as he ushers you through the elevator doors, then turns to you with a smug smile.

"I know."

The doors scissor shut and he pushes the button for the ground floor whilst you smirk at his self-satisfied smile. "Love you too."

* * *

"I love you."

Instantly your face colours and you fight the compulsion to duck your head and slink away like you have made a habit of doing so over the previous years of your life. It has never failed you though and that is enough of a reason to keep practicing that stupid method of escape. Although you wouldn't have to escape had Stella not just spoke those three little words plain as day in front of many of their friends and/or colleagues, but putting into consideration that tonight _everyone_ is drinking maybe her little admission would go unnoticed or at the very least laughed off.

"Ooh, Stell, you and Mackey have somethin' goin' on that you've been hidin' from us now?" Danny slurs but not because of his alcohol intake but instead due to his natural New Yorker accent, evident in his voice no matter what else may be influencing him.

But you would think, for a scientist--a CSI no less--you would be intelligent enough to know that there was no way anyone was letting that one go unremarked. You ignore them and take a swig of bourbon, something you don't normally indulge in but then Stella doesn't usually profess feelings of great adoration after a long evening of dancing and drinking and it is only nine o'clock and she has just shown up. That catches your eye as well because for as long as you have known the Greek woman she has not only been punctual but even early to an extent. You wonder what has held her up this time but your team's teasing as distracted both you and her enough to postpone your little interrogation.

"How many have you had to drink tonight, Messer?" Stella asks and you thank God that she saved the day with her quick response. "Because it seems like you've forgotten that Mac holds the power to fire you."

The group grins at this comment and Stella sits herself between yourself and Lindsay, who is now patting her husband's arm reassuringly and reminding him that you're like elephant; you never forget. Danny smirks at this and downs the rest of his glass, his first of the evening, and replies to her in a hushed voice. You cannot deny that you now have the perverse need to know what he is talking about, just like you cannot deny the knot forming in your stomach when you wonder if it is about you and Stella.

"So why did you proclaim your undying affections then, Miss Bonasera?" Don, who hasn't let a drop of alcohol touch his lips yet, asks and sounding a little too humoured with the whole situation. You ignore him and swirl your drink in your glass and try not to think about the fact that someone that smells like she's fresh from the shower and wearing citrus body lotion is sitting next to you. Damn, she does smell wonderful doesn't she?

"Undying affections?" Stella raises both eyebrows in mock question. "You've been brushing up on your romance for Jess, haven't you Donnie?"

Don doesn't respond but he doesn't need to, Jess has her hand on his bicep and she's smirking like a cat who got the canary. It's no wonder Flack isn't drinking tonight, it's likely that he is driving home since Angell has already polished off a glass and a half. You're a little surprised by this since Jess doesn't normally drink but it seems that tonight is just full of surprises.

The ambush of questions have ceased now and everyone has gone back to the conversations divided amongst themselves. Danny and Hawkes conversing about something apparently rather amusing and Flack and Lindsay play punching as they engage in what looks like a chugging contest of sorts and then there is Angell and Adam who very rarely see one another chatting away. It is such a talkative, social place right now and everyone is so comfortable around one another with stories and laughter and obviously the beverages making the bar even more intoxicating. You turn to your partner, best friend, woman of your dreams, or whatever and watch as she sips gracefully at her red wine.

"You love me, huh? I figured it was too early in the evening for drunken confessions."

She swirls her wine and looks at you with smoky eyes. "Never too early for that. Besides I should be so affectionate when you plan this little shindig for me, a good way to celebrate a birthday if you ask me."

You shrug and try to remain cool when the bartender approaches and you order; "A Stella please."

Stella smirks and leans in so close you can feel the heat between you two. "I didn't know you liked Stella."

"Are you kidding? I love you." You quip and she laughs and everyone eavesdropping lets out low chuckles too. Moments later almost everyone has a beer in hand as they toast the Greek detective who also happens to be your best friend and your partner and the woman you just said that you loved and meant it. If only she knew.

* * *

"I love you."

He sings the bridge to the audience filling the club. The lights are down low and he looks more relaxed and natural than you have seen him in ages. He always does when he is playing, but this time it is even more shocking since he is singing along as well. You are at the club and he is standing smack-dab in the middle of the stage with another band member whom you have seen before and yet can never place his name, maybe because every time you come here for the entertainment and refreshments it is not the strumming of his guitar that thumps along to your heartbeat nor is it his eyes that you want to believe are scanning the bar for your presence. You swallow some of the rich alcohol in your glass and try not to sway either to the music or your drink.

"And I love you darling, like you love those stars in the sky, coz' you light me up inside."

Mac never sings and you figured it was because he didn't think he had the voice for it or the passion but when you hear his voice, that same voice that has been in your head and heart for years now you are disappointed in yourself for not making him sing before this. He is _quite_ talented and the more you drink the surprisingly more lovely he becomes, mostly because you're shedding your inhibitions and allowing his voice total control. It is almost like love-making, you figure, and his voice is the kiss that blesses your skin. The alcohol the fuel for your silly fantasies all coming to life under his touch. He gazes at you from the stage and you lose your breath, he smiles and you lose you mind.

"Under my skin and in my dreams, I can't escape it seems. Your lips on my kiss, you linger like a lover I'm not ready to miss."

In your desperation you wonder if it would be at all conceivable that you got drunk enough to think it was a good idea to kiss him?

_Nope._

"Light me up inside and watch me soar. Darling, hold me close and kiss, kiss, kiss. My soul is burning coz' you light me up inside."

You applaud and for a moment you wonder if you're clapping the loudest out of the audience. No one notices and Mac is shaking hands and hugging band members and stage help and even audience members who approach him with excitement and compliments. A young man and woman, a good decade and half younger than yourself, make his acquaintance with their hands clasped, the aura of young love surrounding them, almost suffocating you from your seat across the lounge. You smile when your partner excuses himself and heads towards you.

"You were amazing, Mac." You profess to him as he takes the vacant seat beside you at the bar. It is where you always sit when you visit, it has a great view of the stage and isn't too close to the busier areas in the bar. Mac smiles and blushes a little causing you to wonder how much harder you could fall in love with this man before it hurt too much to bear.

"It was all Ashton, lyrics and music. I just played back up." Mac responds, ordering a beer as well and offers to top yours off. You gracefully decline because to be perfectly honest you don't know if you will be able to trust yourself around this man.

"Well either way it was a beautiful song." You encourage with a smile and for a moment you are back in that limbo between friendship and romance.

It is damning how well he can do that to you, how he can make you enamored with his voice and touch and eyes one second and then replace it with the contract of your friendship, one that promises trust and familiarity and understanding. People either say it is "just friendship" or "more than friendship" and you think it is ridiculous because the reason you adore Mac the way you do is because of your friendship. The bond you two share did not foster romantic feelings, it had produced them. You weren't in love with Mac before he was your best friend and quite frankly you did not know him until you were best friends because all you knew when you first met him was that he was a CSI with a wife and a past. Now you know everything about him and are constantly obtaining changes as they happen, now you and the relationship you share with him are the reason for and the result of these changes and you're couldn't possibly be more pleased with this fact.

"Well I had a lot of inspiration." He reveals with his hand on your hand and his eyes drowning in your own. You smile and you see your reflection in his eyes and it looks beautiful. Is that how he sees you? _Beautiful__? _No, never, not like that, not like a lover, not like his own.

"Mac." Your stupid, out of control, drunken from only one drink, mouth utters. "I love you."

* * *

I love you.

Mouths crash together. Tongues and lips tangle and kiss and they are moving too fast while limbs work too slow.

Lyrics swim in dizzy minds, simple words and well kept secrets keeping you from breathing and oh dear God it is so good.

Rationality and workplace policies shed like clothing. Flesh on flesh and hands in hair. Who knew it would be this easy to lose control?

Tension boils down and everything else overflows. The need, the desire, the heat. The love, the passion, the want. Your connection.

Bedsheets sweat too, you learn. They slip down your skin and around your ankles. The bed frame shakes and your world quakes.

Music pounds in your head, every song about love and sex and friends with benefits teases you like kisses that don't last long enough.

How does chaste kissing turn into battle? How does something that is perfect get better? How does it hurt when it feels so wonderful?

Fuck. That's what you've been doing, that and making love and blowing each others minds. Why in the world did you procrastinate_ this_?

Dreams may be vivid but this is real _and _exceptional and yet despite this you still cannot believe that this is actually happening. But it is.

Everything turns on an axis and both of you fall over the mattress, each other, and the edge. Together. Oh God. You need to do it again.

_"You read my mind_,_"_ you whisper into the pillow and against the shell of their ear, _"coz' I love you."_

* * *

**Author's Notice:** *claps hands together and crack knuckles* _All done!_ :D *holds for applause* That's right, got it all finished and on time too :O. So there you go, yet another SMacked fiction this time with a dash of adult stuff but still not dirty enough to corrupt or traumatize anyone just yet xD. And I would like to tell y'all now how much I love you for reading this story and of course how much I love Nat who is super awesome and got dedicated ;). Which reminds me! If you would like to request or dedicate anything just check out my profile and send me a PM detailing what you would like done and I will respond ASAP :D. Have a lovely day (or evening!) everyone.


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